Funny Old World
The world's funniest signs revealed
We've
all seen them when abroad: strange signs that maybe don't convey
exactly what they intended. But the funniest this year doesn’t go to a
‘Chinglish’ sign in Shanghai... it comes from Norfolk.
A sign that could potentially be misinterpreted, from Singapore (Picture: Daniel Goldsmith)
The winner
we’ve picked from the third Lonely Planet compilation of baffling signs
from around the world seems reasonable enough at first.
It reads: ‘Dial 999 for Coastguard, Police, Fire or Ambulance.’
Dial B for Blunder: It’s not as easy as you might think to call 999 on this telephone (Picture: Tim Bentinck)
Unfortunately, the attached phone has only three numbers – 1, 2 and 3. It’s another entry for the British Telecom hall of shame.
Read more:
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/801887-the-worlds-funniest-signs-revealed#ixzz1U2iEFkLRDo you find this optical illusion moving?
by: Yahoo! Games
PURPLE NURPLE: This purple swirl seems to move eerily, but it's actually a static image. As with other illusions of this type, the motion seems greatest in your peripheral vision.
COUNT THE INVISIBLE BEARS: This fellow may appear
to be all alone, but he's on the run from wild animals. Can you guess
how many creatures are hidden in the landscape?
Click here for a solution >>
DALI!: Here's a clever art installation created by Salvador Dali. From this angle it's hard to tell what you're looking at.
Click here to see Dali's portrait from its proper perspective >>
DESKTOP DELUSION: This simple sketch seems somehow
to jump off the page. It's drawn in forced perspective, giving it the
appearance of a three-dimensional object when viewed from this angle.
See more Brain Teasers >>
(All images courtesy of Mighty Optical Illusions.)
The world's scariest airports
By Orlando Parfitt
Frightened of flying? You will be… From a runway built on ice, to
an airfield in the middle of a golf course, landing at these locales is
not for the faint-hearted. So sick bags at the ready: welcome to the
world’s most extreme airports (or should that be scare-ports?).
Princess Juliana International Airport
Where is it? Saint Maarten in the Caribbean
What makes it dangerous? Sunbathers beware. The landing
strip is so short that planes must approach the island at an extremely
low angle, which means flying just 30-60ft feet above tourists on Maho
Beach. When videos of planes landing at the airport went viral, many
assumed they were fake.
Courchevel
Where is it? Ski resort in the French Alps
What makes it dangerous? Only specially trained pilots
are allowed to approach this infamous airport through a maze of mountain
valleys. Landing’s no picnic either. The runway’s so tiny it had to be
built at a steep angle to help slow oncoming planes. Dangerous enough to
be used in a Bond film.
Don Mueang International Airport (Bangkok)
Where is it? Bangkok
What makes it dangerous? It’s in the middle of a golf
course! A hole runs between two of the runways, with budding Tiger
Wood’s held back by a red light when planes are landing. That’s got to
be a serious handicap…
Barra International Airport (Barra)
Where is it? Barra, a Gaelic-speaking island off the Scottish coast
What makes it dangerous? It’s washed away by the tide
once a day. The tiny island uses a beach called AnTràigh Mhòr
(translation, umm, 'the big beach') as a runway, which means planes can
only take off and land when the tide is out. Water nightmare!
Madeira Airport
Where is it? Madeira obviously, in Portugal
What makes it dangerous? The insanely short runway,
surrounded by mountains and the ocean, which was sadly the scene of a
crash back in 1977. Since then, the 1,400ft strip has been doubled in
length, but the location means it’s still a tricky customer for all but
the most skilful of pilots.
Lukla Airport
Where is it? The mountains of Nepal
What makes it dangerous? You think climbing Mount
Everest is dangerous? Try landing at the nearest airport. Approach Lukla
too far from the left and you’ll crash into the mountains. Too far to
the right and you’ll fall down a thousand yard drop. Throw in changeable
weather and a short, sloping runway and you have one nasty little
airstrip.
Gibraltar Airport (Gibraltar)
Where is it? Gibraltar
What makes it dangerous? The country’s busiest road –
Winston Churchill Avenue – cuts directly through the middle of the
runway. When a plane approaches, railroad crossing-style gates drop down
to stop cars getting in the way of a safe landing. Not good for
congestion.
Juancho E. Yrausquin Airport
Where is it? Saba in the Caribbean
What makes it dangerous? Not only is it flanked by
hills on one side and a sheer cliff face on the other, the runway also
leads directly into the sea. Oh, and it’s also extremely short.
Overshoot it and you’ll end up dashed on the cliffs or floating in the
ocean. Nerves of steel required.
Gustaf III Airport
Where is it? St Barts, also in the Caribbean
What makes it dangerous? It’s another airport that’ll
mess up your tan. Think the Princess Juliana airport in reverse: the
landing strip runs directly onto the beach, with planes taking off
directly over the heads of sunbathers. Apparently a small sign advises
people not to lie directly at the end of the runway. Like, duh.
Svalbard
Where is it? A cluster of Norwegian island in the Arctic Ocean
What makes it dangerous? The runway’s built on a layer
of permafrost, which would be fine if it wasn’t for global warming. It
hasn’t melted yet, but rising temperatures are causing the strip to
become more and more uneven… not what you want from a runway.
Golfer beats 67,000,000-1 odds by bagging two aces Tue Feb 01
A Scottish golfer beat odds of 67 million-to-one by getting two holes-in-one in the space of nine holes.
His feat was four times less likely than winning the lottery - but
despite having the round of his life, he quit before finishing his
round.
Adam Smith, a 47-year-old technician from Aberdeen, opened his
round at Stonehaven golf club on Saturday with an ace on the 163-yard
opening hole.
As if that weren't enough, he then made a second hole-in-one on the
132-yard seventh hole, joining a tiny band of golfers across the world
who have made two aces in one round.
But despite having the round of his life, the seven-handicapper was
unable to complete the full 18 holes since a prior engagement meant he
had to head off half-way through his game.
Still, it could have been worse: Smith almost didn't play at all
after his regular playing partner had to miss the match due to a bad
ankle.
"I did think about whether I would go along - but I'm really glad I did," Smith told The Scotsman.
The club re-routes the course slightly during the winter to start
on the 18th tee, so instead of opening with a simple par-4 Smith faced a
difficult long-iron shot to the par-3.
"When I hit the first shot of the day, a four iron at the 18th, I
didn't think the ball was in the hole as I could still see it," he said.
"It must have been resting against the pin before it fell in, as
halfway down the fairway I couldn't see it any more. I took my putter on
to the green just in case, but it was in the hole."
The lucky golfer also missed seeing his second ace go in, with the 7th being played to a green that cannot be seen from the tee.
"I played a lovely five iron, although it can be deceiving as it is a raised green and you can't see the hole," he said.
"One of my playing partners played a similar shot and when we got
up there one ball was lying short and there was no ball to be seen on
the green.
"I assumed the ball short of the green was mine, so my playing
partner Keith Taylor walked up to the hole and punched his fist in the
air. When Keith said it was my ball in the hole I just couldn't believe
it."
Tom Hyder, also playing in the group, explained that Smith was in
such a hurry that he hadn't even putted out properly or marked his card.
"Adam had said at the start of the round that he was going in after
the eighth. So he walked off the course after his second ace," said
Hyder.
"He wasn't even holing out because he was only going to play nine holes and he wasn't recording his score.
"The odds of doing what Adam did are absolutely incredible. But they were just super golf shots."
Cabin crew reveal most unusual customer requests
By Nick Collins of The Telegraph
Bemused flyers board aeroplanes expecting to find McDonald's
restaurants and massage parlours on board, cabin crew have revealed.
Some passengers fail to understand why they are prevented from
opening the window, while others would like the engines to be "turned
down" to reduce the noise.
The foolish and sometimes bizarre questions asked of flight
attendants were disclosed after 3,000 Virgin Atlantic cabin crew members
listed the most unusual customer requests they had experienced.
Among the most common queries was "Please can you open the
window?", from uncomfortable passengers who had failed to appreciate the
benefits of a pressurised cabin at 35,000 feet.
Other unique questions fielded by Virgin staff included "Could you
turn the engines down because they are too noisy?" and "Please can the
Captain stop the turbulence?"
The survey of 3,000 cabin crew also laid bare the level of comfort
and service some customers expect, with several asking flight attendants
"Can you show me to the showers?"
One crew member was asked to book a massage for a Barbie doll,
while flight attendants were also asked to help a customer locate a
missing glass eye.
Other customers, who may have overestimated the amount of space on
their aircraft, asked: "Can you take my children to the playroom?" and
"Is there a McDonald’s onboard?".
Caroline Lynam, customer relations manager at Virgin Atlantic,
said: “Virgin Atlantic crew will always go that extra mile to offer our
customers the best possible service but there are some requests that
even we find somewhat challenging."
Australia town seeks new residents with one-dollar rent 
03.11.01
An outback Australian town is bucking the country's cut-throat housing market by offering farmhouses for rent at one dollar (99 US cents) a week to families prepared to move to the country. Skip related content
The town of Trundle,
with a population of about 380, is seeking people from from all over
Australia to fill six homes, some of which have been vacant for years
as the region suffered a long and devastating drought.
But with the town enjoying its best season in a decade and wheat
and cereal crops flourishing, locals have banded together to bring in
new people to reinvigorate the community. "It is an idea for people to
have a tree change (move to the country) and come out to the Outback of
Australia," campaign spokeswoman Cherie Quade told AFP on Wednesday.
"Trundle is not dying but we just wanted to avoid that slippery
slope where you lose vital services and the town sort of goes in a
quick spiral down hill. We are just doing what we can to preempt any
disasters."
The notion of ditching busy city lifestyles, beset by increasingly
unaffordable housing, for a "tree-change" country life has taken hold
in Australia in recent years, a counter to declining country
populations.
Primary school teacher Quade said the latest initiative hopes to
bring 10 new families into the town some 350 kilometres (215 miles)
northwest of Sydney to breathe new life into its schools. "This scheme
has really invigorated everybody, everybody's really excited," she
said. "The kids are getting onboard, (saying) 'Miss Quade, are there
people coming to live in Trundle?'."
Quade said a new family coming to the town would be "a really big
deal", joking that the local children were excited because it would
mean they could play with other children and "not just their cousins".
"We are offering that unique country, small community spirit," she
said. "Everybody knows you and says hello to you down the street --
it's that welcoming community."
There is a catch though -- some of the houses have been vacant for
a long time and are in need of renovation so applicants should ideally
be handy with a paint brush and hammer.
Air Guitar Star Rocks World With Second Win 
08.2010
A Frenchman has been tipped for stardom after being crowned the world's best air guitarist - for the second year in a row.
Sylvain
Quimene, performing as Gunther Love, played his way to success in a
performance at the 15th Air Guitar World Championship held in Oulu in
northern Finland.
Contestants from Japan, Malaysia, the UK, Canada, Germany, Slovakia, Russia,
Mexico and Brazil flew in for the event in the remote town near the
Arctic Circle. Each finalist had to perform twice; once with their own
choice of song and the second time with a performance of Jimi Hendrix's
Foxy Lady.
Thousands of people gathered at the Oulu marketplace to watch the
41 contestants in total - including one of the youngest competitors
ever, 10-year-old Aapo "Little Angus" Rautio - who finished sixth.
"This is something anyone can do, maybe you can be on stage some
day, anyone can be on stage. Maybe that could be the reason why people
like this so much," said veteran jury member and musician Juha Torvinen.
Local girls said they had come to meet some "muchos hottos people".
Winner Gunther Love suspected he knew why he had triumphed for the second time.
"Why did I win? I think it's only the gold pants, you know gold,
you are first, next year I will come with a silver pants ... for the
second. That's the only reason."
According to the judges, musical talent was not necessary nor is
the ability to play an actual guitar. The winner was chosen for his or
her ability to move around the stage playing the air guitar as
realistically as possible.
Quimene's prize - once again - is a handmade Flying Finn electric guitar.
Air guitar playing became popular in the 1970s when teenagers first tried to emulate their guitar heros by grabbing their tennis rackets and miming their way through the rock 'n' roll classics.
Begining
with the Nescafe, individual sachets (packets) of coffee. The
instructions for opening the item said 'Tear here', but the nick for
begining the operation was on the other side of the packet.
I love this one... from information leaflet in Dabao SOD Milk moisturising cream.
'Dabao
SOD Milk contains rich SOD (Superoxide Dismietase) and extract of
Ginseng and Astragalus Root (percious Chinese herbal medicine) as it's
main ingredients. It can effectively retard the progress of the skins
senility, resolve pigmentation and nourish the skin..... Through
constant use, it would bestow on you a look so graceful and tender that
you could become more lovely and charming.' That makes me feel good. There's hope for me yet!
Then I opened a new toothbrush from Sion to clean my teeth...
'The
highest quality shape hair brush, it can go deep into the tooth sews,
which is the commonest can't, pure out the dental dirts, and work the
brush the bacteria spot of tooth.'
'The
completely new streamlined and antislide brush handle designing
according to the hand type, brushing is comfort, and holding to feel
relaxed.'
'The well loved transparent handle adds esthetic taste to your daily life.' Yes,
I have to admit, that after shaving and washing in the morning, it has
revolutionised my outlook on the day ahead. Thank you Sion.
CIA's secret Iraq weapon revealed: a Saddam gay sex tape
Bizarre US plots included exploding cigars to kill Fidel Castro and fake video of Osama bin Laden's campfire drinking
A portrait of Saddam Hussein at Baghdad University in 2003. Photograph: Francoise De Mulder/ Corbis
In their time, America's secret agencies have tried some
outlandish schemes to attack their country's enemies, including, most
famously, an attempt to do away with Cuba's
Fidel Castro by using an exploding cigar.
But in a scenario more the preserve of careless Hollywood starlets such as Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, the
CIA appears to have plotted to undermine
Saddam Hussein with a gay sex tape.
According to the Washington Post's security blog, some of
America's spooks believed that shooting a fake video of Saddam
cavorting with a teenage boy might destabilise his regime in the runup
to the US-led invasion in 2003. "It would look like it was taken by a
hidden camera. Very grainy, like it was a secret videotaping of a sex
session," the Washington Post quoted one former CIA official as saying.
Nor was the Saddam sex tape the only idea floating around the more bizarre corners of the CIA's
Iraq
Operations Group. Other ploys involved interrupting Iraqi television
with a false newsflash that would announce Saddam was handing over
power to his hated and feared son Uday. The presumed idea was to shock
the Iraqi people into rising up against their leaders and thus make the
invasion a lot easier.
Perhaps thankfully, the tape and fake news broadcast were never
made and the Post reported that top CIA brass repeatedly rejected the
ideas.
But that did not stop a CIA video being shot of a fake
Osama bin Laden
sitting around a camp fire, drinking booze and boasting of his own gay
conquests. The video apparently used some of the CIA's "darker
skinned" employees as extras playing the terror chief's henchmen. It
does not seem to have been released.
The Post said an anonymous US official had declined to confirm or
deny the accounts. "If these ideas were ever floated by anyone at any
time, they clearly didn't go anywhere," the official said.
Such tactics are hardly the first time the US agencies have
stretched their imaginations. A book entitled 638 Ways to Kill Castro
detailed the many ways the Cuban leader had been targeted over the
decades.
One of the lesser known was a plan to dispatch Castro by
exploiting his fascination for scuba-diving. A batch of colourful
molluscs would be rigged with explosives in the hope that he would be
attracted to them while swimming underwater.
That plan, too, never got off the drawing board.
No 8. A thought from Daily Telegraph correspondent in Chengdu.
Lost in translation
A Guide to Drowning? More on www.engrish.com
'Blue Monday' 19th January. The most depressing day of the year?
I woke up at 06.30 AM today. The wind was rattling my windows and
the rain was lashing down in epic proportions. I trudged my way in the
dark to my tube station with my once working, now broken, umbrella only
to be forced to wait in a tunnel for 25 minutes due to 'delays'. It was at this point that I remembered why this was happening - today is "Blue Monday".
According to experts today is the most depressing day of the
year. Toay is apparently so depressing it has been predicated that up
to a quarter of workers would call in sick. Cliff Arnall, a former
psychology academic at Cardiff University, claims that there are six factors that combine to make today the ultimate of all bad days:
Lousy weather
Post-Christmas debt
Failed New Year's resolutions
Time elapsed since Christmas festivities
Motivation levels
The need for something to look forward to..... and the next UK holiday is ages away - 82 days to be exact.
Dr Arnall advises that the best way to overcome Blue Monday is to 'put on a fun DVD, get some friends over for something to eat or call someone they've put off calling for months or years.'
A society of optimists (people who look favourably on situations),
cunningly called the Optimists' Society, has its own ideas to battle
the depression it will be sending out "cheer packages" to celebrities
in need of a cheer-up such as The Chancellor of the Exchequer (Finance Minister), and will also be hosting a free comedy show in London. So now...with Enjoying English, cast off this cloak of sadness. Here
is...
Something to laugh about! As survey finds even bad jokes make us laugh, here are the very worst of gags to giggle over.
Ever wondered why you can’t stop laughing at
bad jokes? A new study claims you’re not alone. One in four of us just
can’t help but giggle at even the most cringeworthy punchline. So, to
see how susceptible you are, CLAIRE COHEN has compiled a selection of the worst . . .
Why are elephants big, grey and hairy? If they were small, brown and furry, they'd be mice.
Knock knock Who’s there? Trish. Trish who? Bless you!
Knock knock Who’s there? Lass. Lass who? How long have you been a cowboy?
What kind of monkey can fly? A hot air baboon.
What is a sentence with the word ‘politics’ in it? My parrot swallowed an alarm clock and now poli-tics.
Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the lane and turned into a farm.
What is a porcupine’s favourite food? Prickled onions.
Why don’t vampires like computers? They hate anything new-fangled.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrot?
What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens? Oh-lay!
What do deaf fish wear? Herring-aids.
What wobbles as it flies? A jelly-copter.
Two fish were in a tank. One turns to the other and says: ‘Do you know how to drive this thing?’
How does a witch style her hair? With scare spray.
What is the most military day of the year? March 4th.
Why do pigs make good spies? T hey’re excellent at going in-hog-nito.
What do you get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile? An animal that talks your head off.
What did one hat say to the other hat? You wait here and I’ll go on a head.
Have you heard the story about the broken pencil? It had no point.
My wife got angry when I spilt the coffee. She called it grounds for divorce.
Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? From a distance it looked like a hare.
What did the big telephone say to the little telephone?
You’re too young to be engaged.
‘Doctor, doctor, I’ve got only 59 seconds to live.’ ‘Just a minute please . . .’
Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots.
Police
have apprehended two children — the first was eating batteries and the
other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let off the other.
What has 50 legs, but can’t walk? Half a centipede.
What sits on the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
Why was the crab arrested? He kept pinching things.
How do you know when the teddy bear’s picnic has finished? Because they’re all stuffed.
What did Snow White say when she dropped off her camera film to be developed? Some day my prints will come.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.
How did the hairdresser win the race? He knew a short cut.
What are Santa’s little helpers called? Subordinate clauses.
Did you hear about the cement lorry that collided with a police van? Five hardened criminals escaped.
How did the pig get to the hospital? In a hambulance.
Two television sets got married. The reception was fantastic.
What would happen if you ate yeast and polish? You’d rise and shine.
Why did the scientist put a knocker on his front door? He wanted to win a No-bell prize.
What did one mountain say to the other after an earthquake? ‘It’s not my fault.’
Did you hear about the restaurant on the Moon? It has great food, but no atmosphere.
What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.
Why did the cannibal have indigestion? He ate someone who disagreed with him.
Why did the man stare at the orange juice carton? Because it said concentrate.
What does a king do when he burps? He issues a royal pardon.
‘Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a wheelbarrow.’ ‘Don’t let people push you around.’
What’s blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.
What do you call a three-legged donkey? A wonkey.
‘Doctor, doctor, I can’t pronounce my Fs, Ts or Hs.’ ‘Well, you can’t say fairer than that then.’
What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? Any dog. Buildings can’t jump.
Where do Noah’s bees live? In the Ark-hives.
How do cows do maths? With a cowculator.
A polar bear walks into a bar and says, ‘I’ll have a pineapple juice . . . . . . . . . on the rocks.’ The barman
replies, ‘Why the big pause?’ ‘I don’t know,’ says the polar bear. ‘I’ve always had them.’
Did you hear about the red ship which collided with the blue ship? Both crews were marooned.
What do you call a midget clairvoyant who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
What’s green, furry and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table.
Did you hear about the fly that flew through a sieve? He strained himself.
What is the easiest house to pick up? A light house.
How do you make gold soup? By adding 14 carrots. .
Why wouldn’t the bald man let anyone use his comb? He couldn’t part with it.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
Can butterflies break trees? Are pigeons affected by the credit crunch?
These are just two of the 16 million-plus bizarre questions sent to text message service AQA (the British company Any Question Answered that responds to queries on almost any topic by text) since it was set up four years ago. Here are some of the best:
CELEBRITIES
Who got more fan mail than The Beatles?
Hitler received more during the Thirties and Forties than The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Madonna combined.
Who is the most portrayed character in film?
Sherlock Holmes has been played by 72 different actors in 204 films. Basil Rathbone played him 14 times.
Who was the first serial killer?
Liu Pengli, cousin of Emperor Jing of China. Operating at night from around 144 to 121BC, he murdered more than 100 people for 'sheer sport'.
What is Margaret Thatcher's relationship to ice-cream?
As A young chemist she was part of a scientific team which
invented soft ice-cream, a process that involved putting more air in
the product, thus reducing ingredients and costs.
Which actor was considered ahead of John Travolta to play Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction?
Daniel Day-Lewis wanted the role, but Quentin Tarantino turned him down.
FOOD
How many chickens do we eat in our lifetime?
In the UK we eat, on average, 1,200 chickens each during our
lifetime. That's 1,800 kilos of chicken meat, the same as eating a
four-year-old elephant.
Can you fit an egg into a milk bottle without breaking it?
Yes. Soak a raw egg in vinegar for two days (this softens the
shell). Heat the bottle in boiling water. Place egg on top of bottle:
as the bottle cools, the air inside it contracts and the egg will be
sucked in.
What product has the barcode 5010024141523?
A 500g pack of Saxa Coarse Sea Salt. Incidentally, there's enough salt in the sea to cover Britain to a depth of 50 miles.
Is it OK to eat a polar bear's liver?
Polar bear liver is toxic to humans because of the extremely high
levels of vitamin A. Just 30-90g of vitamin A is enough to kill someone.
What was the traditional bird to eat at Christmas before the Fifties?
In the Forties, it was goose. The fat removed during cooking was sometimes made into a chest rub for colds.
What logical sentence is there with five 'and's' in a row?
'When you drew that fish-and-chips sign, you should have put a hyphen between 'fish' and 'and' and 'and' and 'chips.'
Is it true that lettuce has the same effect on rabbits as opium on humans?
Yes. Lettuce contains lactucarium, which has an effect similar to
opium and has been used in sleeping draughts. It has a soporific effect
on rabbits.
What vegetable can be grown on Mars?
NASA scientists recently said that the soil on Mars would be good
enough for asparagus and turnips, but not fertile enough for
strawberries.
Do slugs eat potatoes?
They eat 36,000 tonnes of potatoes every year in Britain. They can smell a mushroom up to six feet away.
THE HUMAN BODY
What is the only bone in your body not attached to anything?
The hyoid bone, just above the larynx. It anchors the muscles of the tongue and is the only bone in the body that doesn't touch any other.
Does a smoker pay more in tax than they receive in health care?
Yes. While an average smoker costs the NHS £150 a year, they pay £949 annually in tax - almost six times more.
What is the longest muscle name in the human body?
The musculus levator labii superioris alaeque nasi. It's the muscle Elvis used to create his trademark lip curl.
MUSIC, LYRICS AND LANGUAGE
How many iPods would I need to store the estimated number of original released songs in the world?
With 4billion original released songs, you'd need 4 million 4GB iPod nanos, or 100,000 16GB iPod classics to store them.
Why did the composer Ravel write a concerto for one hand?
He composed the Piano Concerto For The Left Hand in 1930 for his friend, the Austrian composer Paul Wittgenstein, who lost his right arm in World War I.
What is the most played song ever on radio stations across the world?
You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' by The Righteous Brothers: the equivalent of 45.6 continuous years' airplay.
What is the most often featured song in films of all time?
Happy Birthday To You. It was written as a classroom greeting in 1893 by two Louisville teachers.
SPORT
Can you tell me an obscure use for Vaseline?
Boxers use it during fights to treat bleeding cuts. The inventor, Robert Chesebrough, ate a spoonful every day. AQA does not recommend trying this.
Did the ancient Mayans invent a lethal ball game?
Their game called Tlachtli sometimes ended in human sacrifice. They invented latex, which they used to make the rubber balls.
PLANET EARTH
Has any animal got two hearts?
No. Squid, oysters and octopus have three hearts. Hagfish have five. Earthworms have multiple hearts, but only Doctor Who has two.
How many ants could you fit in a jumbo jet and it could still take off?
The average ant weighs 3mg. Taking account of aerodynamics, a jet
containing 46,500,000,000 (46.5 trillion) of them would still be able
to take off (assuming one of them knew how to fly the plane).
How long would it take a person to drink the sea?
It would take a person 143,737,166,324 million years to drink the
1,260 million trillion litres of water on earth, at a rate of 1 litre
per hour, with no loo breaks.
Do all cows stand facing north?
On average, they face five degrees off the geographic north or
south poles. Observations of deer herds and their snow tracks reveal a
similar trend which, scientists believe, is due to their reaction to
magnetic fields.
Can butterflies break trees?
Monarch butterflies can do so during winter in the mountains west of Mexico City. Tens of millions of butterflies settle there, often breaking branches with their weight.
Did a polar bear from London ever catch its dinner in the River Thames?
In the 13th century, a polar bear was kept as part of the Tower of London menagerie, and fished in the Thames for salmon, while attached to a leash.
If an ant were the same size as a human, how fast would it be able to run?
It would travel twice as fast as a Lamborghini. An ant-sized human, however, would travel at a measly 0.5cm per second.
MISCELLANEOUS
What is the world's longest engagement?
67 years. Octavio Guillen and Adriana Martinez were 15 when they got engaged and 82 on their wedding day.
How many trees does it take to make 17.3billion matchsticks?
One tree makes an average 1million matchsticks, so it would take
17,300 trees to make 17.3billion matchsticks. There are 60billion trees
worldwide, enough for 600 quadrillion matchsticks.
Has anyone married in Asda - a UK supermarket chain?
Jill and Pete Freeman married in the clothing section of their local Asda in York in February 2004. They left to a bagpipe version of the Asda tune.
Has anyone ever taken their name from a phone book?
When C. Kalms and M. Mindel opened their first shop in Southend in
1937, they had room only for six letters on the shopfront and chose
'Dixons' from the phone book.
Why should I be scared on Friday, April 13, 2029?
An asteroid called 2004 MN4 will be within 19,000 miles of Earth that day, but it won't hit us.
Is it true that road foundations can be made from old books?
The M6 toll road in Birmingham was lined with 2.5 million pulped Mills & Boon novels when constructed in 2003. The paper pulp is a good sound absorber.
Why are Apple computers called 'Apple'?
The founders chose the name so that it would come before rivals Atari in the phone directory.
Where is the longest bench in the world?
There is one 460.9metres long in Masuhogaura, Japan. It's made of wood, and offers sunset views for you and 1,349 others.
Does Sandringham have its own time zone?
Until 1936, all 180 clocks in the royal collection at Sandringham
(The Queen's Palace) were set on 'Sandringham Time', half an hour ahead
of GMT.
AND FINALLY ...
AQA has seen a 2,100 per cent rise in credit-crunch-related
questions over the past few weeks, whereas usually they would be
inundated with Christmas queries ...
My food bill has gone up so much. What can I do?
Buy only the food you need. When cooking, make extra and eat it another night. Make your own lunches.
Where on earth am I spending all this money?
Money is frequently spent on small things. For one week keep a list of everything you spend.
Are pigeons affected by the credit crunch?
No, because they tend not to apply for mortgages. However, there are fewer of them due to a population cull in London.
Where can I move to become an instant millionaire?
If you can ignore Mugabe's oppressive regime, go to Zimbabwe. £38.25 is $Z1million. Before August 1, 2008, you'd have got $Z10quadrillion for £39.25.
Has anyone benefited from the credit crunch?
Fast-food restaurants, shoe repairers, budget supermarkets, cinemas, video shops and maternity retailers.
• Extracted from Brilliant Answers by AQA 63336, published by Profile at £5.99; 2008, AQA 63336.
Market sign in a street in Fengdu, China. Photo:Peter Knight
|
Round the World in English.
Travelling around the world during the past 40 years, as I have
been fortunate enough to do, I have seen some strange usage of
English. It's meaning has been lost in translation. The humour behind
some of the notices and signs in hotels and public places is difficult
to explain. See if you can work them out, and I will attempt to
explain them later. Here are a few examples to start you off.
Beginning in Beijing, on the roadside in Changan Avenue, near the
President's Residence. 'Little grass is smiling sweetly, please walk on
the pavement'.
Fly from Beijing to Seoul in South Korea where a hotel proudly
announces, 'You can choose twin bed, or marriage; we regret no King
Kong size'. I wish! Another informs me that, 'Measles not included in
room charge.' That's a relief, I think!
In Japan, 'You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaids.' Well, if you are on your own and feeling lonely, perhaps.
In Hanoi, Vietnam I am reminded that, 'Visitors should not be ironed, cooked or washed. Hotel has every service.'
On to Moscow in Russia. In a hotel opposite the Russian Orthodox
Monastery - a religious organisation of the Russian Church, an
invitation says that, 'You are welcome to visit the cemetery where
famous Russian and Soviet composer, artists and writers are buried
daily, except Thursdays.'
I stopped off to buy a yogurt from a company called 'Muller'. One
a day 4 pack. Strange, I thought there were 7 days in a week.
Sign Spotting. We already
have a feature which highlights some strange examples of mis-translated
English, but the other day, whilst playing on the Internet, I found a
website which shows photographs of signs which are mis-placed, wrongly
translated or just not thought through properly. Examples are:
'Bottomless Pit - 65 Feet Deep'. Another in California reads, 'Death
Valley Health Center'.
Well, I Never Knew That! - Banknotes.
various sources.
* Banknotes were first used in CHina as early as the 7th Century.
*
Banknotes didn't arrived in Europe until the 16th century.
Originally, they were used as receipts for gold coins deposited in
Banks by goldsmiths.
*
Besides our present Queen Elizabeth and Brittannia, the only two women
to be depicted on British banknotes are; Elizabeth Fry, the 19th
century social and prison reformer, and Florence Nightingale, a nures
during the Crimean War in the middle east during the late 19th century.
* Recent
British £20 and £10 notes feature the scientist, Charles Darwin and
British composer, Edward Elgar. It is thought that they were honoured
because Darwin's tumbling beard and Elgars moustache would make it
difficult for forgers to reproduce the notes.
*
China's banknotes have built-in security measures; a watermark of
Chairman Mao as well as his image on the face of notes, raised dots in
the bottom right-hand corner and new notes are 'scrunchy' when they are
rubbed.
* Australian banknotes are made of plastic and are almost impossible to forge or copy.
* In the
early 1920's. hyper-inflation made German banknotes almost worthless.
It is said that the price of a cup of coffee trippled in cost between
the time it was ordered and the time it was drunk.
* In
March 2007, the Bank of England issued a new style £20 note with
additional security measures. Under the Queen's head, the value is
written in words and numbers, but is only visable under a strong
magnifying glass. When I returned to England in May 2008, I queried
the cashier at the Exchange Desk at Heathrow Airport, as I thought the
note was a fake!
* The Bank of England issues £25,731,450 a day in new notes.
No 8. A thought from Daily Telegraph correspondent in Chengdu.
Traditionally, the luckiest number for Chinese
people is No 8, which is why the Olympics start at 8pm on the 8th day
of the 8th month, in 2008. But is it? Events in China this year
suggest otherwise.
* January 25th (01.25. - 1+2+5=8) -
blizzards and snowstorms paralysed the country, causing a state of
national emergency.
* March 14th (03.14. - 3+1+4=8) - protests erupted in the Tibetan capital of Lhasa.
* May 12th (05.12. - 5+1+2=8) - the Sichuan earthquake struck.
May 12th was exactly 88 days before the start of
the Beijing Olympics on 2008.08.08. Are these incidents fate, or are we
being over superstitious?
May, 2008. |
The Worlds Easiest Quiz.
Try this. You must answer all the questions. If you
don't know an answer you must take a guess. The pass mark is 4 correct
answers.
1. In the war between England and France, how long did the Hundred Years War last? - it wasn't 100 years.
2. Which country are Panama Hats made?
3. From which country do we get cat-gut for guitar strings?
4. In which month do Russians celebrate the revolution of October, 1918?
5. The Canary Island in the Atlantic Ocean are named after which animal?
6. What is a camel hair brush made of?
7. What was King George IV of Englands first name?
8. What colour is the bird called a purple finch?
9. Where do Chinese gooseberries come from?
10. What is the colour of the 'black box' flight recorder in a
commercial airline?hings are looking better. A notice by the bell
reads: If service is required - give two strokes to the maid, and
three to the waiter.
Round the World in English Again! Some more examples of mis-translations into English noticed at places around the world.
Seen in a Spanish airline: 'Bags to be used incase of sickness or to gather remains.'
A hotel in Zurich, Switzerland: 'We have a nice bath and are good in bed.'
In Bucharest Romania: ' The hotel lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time, we regret, you will be unbearable.'
In a hotel in Chengdu, Sichuan Province there are serious threats: 'If You Do Not Pay, You Will Not Live1'
In a hotel in Lugu Lake, a notice which shoed a slippery floor, with a man falling down read: 'Beware of the Landslide.'
Australia town seeks new residents with one-dollar rent 
Useless trivia questions By 
