i  * Verbal fillers * Teenspeak * Vocabulary Problems & The Little Black Book * 'Twitter' declared top word of 2009 *One millionth word * Taste v Flavour *Weather & Climate * Words & Englsih * Confusing Words...Confusing Spelling * Tongue Twisters * Spelling v Pronunciation * Fighting Talk * Mis-print Howlers * Banished from The Queen's English * English declares war on Americanisms

What your verbal fillers say about you What are the most common but biggest faux pas in modern English?… Posted By Random House, Friday, 18 March 2011 Verbal fillers or tics are the guilty pleasures of the communication world – all those useless, fatuous repetitive pieces of nonsense that we belch out the moment there is the slightest pause or hesitation in our stream of speech. Sometimes we start with them, often we end with them. Occasionally we use them instead of speech altogether, as in ‘Right, okay, well, basically, you know, I sort of, actually, kind of – if you like…innit?’ These words come courtesy of your subconscious during micro-moments of panic and to fill gaps to show that you believe it’s still your turn to talk, and it could be that you sprinkle them throughout your conversations like confetti. Okay so you mimic them from others, but why did you choose the particular words you use so constantly? Think your choice was random? Think again… ‘Right’ Often accompanied by a smacking and rubbing of hands, this is the ultimate clapper-board word, the one that announces you’re about to start a new job or train of thought and it’s performed as much for your own benefit as a signal to others that you’re about to kick off. The question is, why the need to scoop up your thinking and self-motivate on such a regular basis? You’re a positive person, but the trouble is your thoughts tend to run out of control and you struggle keeping track at times. This leads to mild levels of stress and confusion leading to you becoming your own little police force, dragging the threads of your thinking together and galvanising your brain into action. Use this too much and you’ll appear bumbling, chaotic and just a little bit of a control freak in what can sound like a call for silence from those around you. ‘…you know…’ These two words need to appear during, rather than at the start of, a sentence or in reply to a question, as in: ‘How did you feel when the rhino trampled you?’ ‘Well, you know….’ Or: ‘I only had about three seconds to…you know…run away and I was…you know…very scared.’ Do we need to point out the obvious, which is that you will only use these words when you patently don’t know what you’re talking about or what to say? The words ‘you know’ are the ultimate cry for help. When you use them you’re asking, ‘Do you know? Can you help me out please?’ and this plead for empathy suggests severe brain break-down, albeit temporary. Watch a professional speaker like a politician during an interview and the moment he/she emerges with his/her first ‘you know’ you can tell they’ve lost the plot and are bluffing big- time.   ‘Actually’ Why use a word to prove the truth of what you’re saying unless you’re lying in the first place? ‘I was actually very upset’, ‘We could actually see that our plan was working’, ‘I was confused by that actually’. This is your personal attempt to underline what you are saying and it implies you’re used to being doubted and feel you have to over-prove your point. ‘Actually’ is a weasel word, flung about with desperation in a flaccid attempt to provide validation that is clearly missing, actually. ‘Literally’ Read all of the above and add a drizzle of intellectual pretentiousness. ‘Basically’ Only ever used by people who have relinquished all control over their ability to précis, and serves as a warning that the speaker is about to ramble on with a severe case of verbal diarrhoea. This is another self-policing word as you try to form structure and clarity to your points and therefore a clear sign that you have none. By using this word you also give false hope to your audience, demanding their attention by suggesting you will be good to listen to. The small break-down in trust once they realise you have more rabbit than Waitrose will become part of a general decline in your overall credibility. ‘Innit?’ Why place the question mark at the end of this word when it is nothing other than a statement or rhetorical question at best? At least three centuries ago this was a cockney abbreviation of ‘Isn’t it?’ and worthy of a reply, as in: ‘It’s raining out, innit?’ ‘Yes, I do believe you will need an umbrella if you are thinking of venturing outdoors’ Now though it’s become a meaningless statement that ends every sentence like a full stop; a kind of verbal bum-boil that makes all speech as unattractive as possible, as in: ‘I’ll call you tomorrow, innit?’ Even the vaguest whiff of fashion has long since left this word, which means that by using it you show you’re nothing short of a sad soul who believes wearing your hood up makes you look like a gangsta. ‘Yamean’ This intense abbreviation of the words ‘Do you know what I mean?’ is like a verbal concertina that suggests a permanent state of acute cognitive confusion. By using this at the end of every statement you are elongating your speech to enquire after the understanding of your audience. By abbreviating to this one word you also imply that you are time-poor and need to get your messages across as quickly as possible, which beggars the question: Why not use words that are easily understood in the first place, meaning you would have no need to enquire that everything you say is comprehended by your audience? This constant, unrelenting checking suggests weakness. You are part of a pack that will reject members at will, hence the need to keep confirming that everything you say is ‘on message’. You are desperate to please and possibly a little paranoid to boot, yamean? ‘Do you hear what I’m saying?’ See all of the above but add a massive pinch of egocentricity. You don’t talk to other people, you preach. Most of what you say is incomprehensible gibberish but you demand an appreciative audience and by adding this phrase to the end of every statement you force listeners to nod sagely, as though pure verbal gold had just tumbled out of your mouth. You like to feel you are a guru in your own lifetime, although genuine gurus rarely use this verbal tic. Did Martin Luther King say ‘I have a dream, DO YOU HEAR WHAT I’M SAYING?’ No. He used eloquence and a microphone instead. ‘Sort of… /Kind of…’ These words suggest you have a tippy-toes approach to life, qualifying everything in case someone accuses you of being bold. You suggest life events are so baffling or astounding they make you run out of words. ‘It was a sort of recession issue’ or ‘It was a kind of unhelpful thing to say’ is like air-brushing your statements to avoid disagreement and portray you as a liberal thinker rather than opinionated. You tend to dither big-time over most of your decisions, sticking a big toe into the pool of life rather than pulling on your cossie and diving in. ‘If you like’ This oily, obsequious phrase is the Uriah Heep, hand-wringer of the verbal filler world. ‘It was an – if you like – unfortunate type of behaviour’ or ‘We have an – if you like – unhelpful situation here.’ When you use this phrase you are like a creepy, deeply-bowing, toupee-wearing waiter presenting a ghastly, over-inflated bill on a small silver platter.   The problem with ‘If you like’ people is that their utter submissiveness masks an inner stubbornness and will of steel. Just as you know you’re going to have to pay that dinner bill, so you know this ‘if you like’ user has no intention of changing their point of view. Passive-aggressive defines you perfectly. This article has been extracted from The You Code by Judi James Yes, teen-speak drives me mad, but adult jargon is FAR worse - innit! By John Humphrys   29.10.2010 Ineffable appeal: Emma Thompson has declared war on sloppy speech That Emma Thompson, yeh? Skills innit! I’m like she’s well porn innit. Know what I’m saying? I very much doubt that you do. So let me try again. Miss Emma Thompson, highly acclaimed star of the silver screen, has added further to her ineffable appeal with some well-chosen words demonstrating her acute concern for the­ English language and in so doing has made a significant contribution to the debate ­surrounding the way the younger ­generation is failing to communicate in an ­efficacious manner. You probably got it that time, but how ­horribly stilted it sounded. After all, no one speaks like that any longer, do they? My first paragraph was an attempt to sound like a teenager — or at least the sort of teenager of whom Miss Thompson disapproves. The ­second might have appeared in the Daily Mail of the Twenties. What she actually said was that teenagers make themselves sound stupid by speaking the way they do. ‘I went to give a talk at my old school and the girls were all doing their “likes” and “innit” and “it ain’ts”, which drives me insane,’ she said. ‘I told them: “Just don’t do it, because it makes you sound stupid and you’re not stupid.” ’ Miss Thompson is, I think, horribly right and horribly wrong. Of course it drives her insane. It drives me insane, too. That’s the whole point. It’s meant to because we are adults. That’s why they do it. Teenagers want their own language and they want to exclude us from it. Let’s go back to that first paragraph. What on earth is the word “skills” doing there? Well, I can tell you because I came across it at my youngest child’s school. One of the boys was describing his new PlayStation and the other boy — hugely envious — said: ‘Skills!’ It denoted the highest form of approval. All the other children knew that, but I’ll bet you didn’t. It may reach a school near you next week, transmitted across the highly effective teen network, or it may die the death. ‘Porn’ is another term of approval — even more bizarre than ‘skills’ — and I suspect it’s already had its day. By the time distinguished academics and publishers have caught up with the latest teen-speak, the ­teenagers themselves have usually moved on. That’s why I think Miss Thompson is wrong. Innit: Iconic 'teenagers' Kevin and Perry, played by Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke, in a scene from the 2000 film Kevin And Perry Go Large Language must evolve. Change is happening all the time. I struggled desperately a few days ago to understand an obviously important story about a worm attacking certain computer programmes in China. Actually, I’m not absolutely certain that it was a worm and not a virus. If I’m to be entirely honest, I’ll admit that I’m not sure I know the difference, but I got the general gist of it. My father would not have understood a word of the story. Rather, he’d have understood all the words — worm, virus, programme — but they’d have held an entirely different meaning for him. A language that does not adapt and evolve is a dead language. How quaint the vocabulary of my second paragraph looks today. More... 'Innits' and aints' drive me insane! Emma Thompson hits out at teenagers' sloppy English after visit to her old school I’m not sure Miss Thompson is right, either, when she says teenagers who use lots of ‘innits’ and ‘I’m likes’ sound stupid. For my money, they sound lazy. And in a way that’s worse. What I found seriously worrying was what Jean Gross, who advises the Government on children’s speech, had to say earlier this year. Teenagers, she said, are becoming unemployable because they use a vocabulary of just 800 words. That was the headline news from her report. It seemed unlikely. A child of two probably has more words than that. And when I looked into it a little more closely, the story turned out to be rather different. It's not that they are incapable of using a full vocabulary, it’s that they choose not to   What Miss Gross reported was that teenagers develop a broad vocabulary of 40,000 words by the time they reach 16, but linguists have found that many choose to limit themselves to a much smaller range in regular conversation, and on a daily basis could use as few as 800. What Miss Gross said she wanted to do was start a nationwide campaign next year to ensure that ­children use their full linguistic potential and are not impeded in the classroom and, later, the workplace. It would focus on schoolchildren and she wanted to ask Stephen Fry to support it. Good stuff on the face of it. What can be more laudable than children developing their full language potential? But put aside any suspicion you may have that the brilliant Stephen Fry might not be the ­perfect role model for a bolshie 15-year-old and note the key word in her report: ‘Choose.’ It’s not that they are incapable of using a full vocabulary, it’s that they choose not to. In other words, I ­suspect children are no different today from the way they were when I was one of them. I vaguely remember that we 15-year-olds developed our own ­inclusive language. We called it Pig Latin — though it had precious little to do with the language of the ­classics — and we did it purely to confuse and infuriate our elders. If Miss Gross still wants to mount a campaign, may I humbly suggest that rather than target the children, she goes for those who teach them. Intelligent teenagers will grow out of teen speak. The ­danger is that they will grow into jargon   I’ve spent the past nine months visiting schools up and down the country. Those with the best results employ teachers who treat their pupils with respect but do not patronise them by trying to communicate with them in whatever language the children happen to have adopted this year. They insist that the children use theirs. The worst teachers, on the other hand, try to ingratiate themselves by pretending to be teenagers themselves. It doesn’t work. Then Miss Gross might extend her brief to those adults who are ­perfectly articulate but choose to hide behind jargon rather than use plain, simple language that we can all understand. Intelligent teenagers will grow out of teen speak. The ­danger is that they will grow into jargon. You doubt that jargon can be ­dangerous? Let me close with an extract from a document that a friend who once advised big City firms showed me. It was so ­preposterous that I included it in my book Lost for Words. ‘The main role of the Equity ­Derivatives Group is product ­innovation: to define and write new payoffs with sales, traders and quants (pro-active and reactive), participate to the study (sic) of the risk management of the new payoffs. The objective is to increase sharply the amount of pro-active business.’ That was in 2003. My friend did not understand a word of it. Neither did I. Five years later, with banks around the world teetering on the brink of collapse and most of the world plunged into recession, we all understood the lethal power of ‘derivatives’ and this kind of ‘pro-active’ business. But by then the damage had been done. I agree with Emma Thompson that it would be nice if children stopped saying ‘innit’. I think it’s far more important that when they become adults they use a language we can all understand. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1316062/Yes-teen-speak-drives-mad-adult-jargon-FAR-worse--innit.html#ixzz10wmExih3 Internet spelling: Traditional English spellings could be killed off by internet, says language expert Traditional spellings of English words could be killed off by the internet within a few decades, according to a leading language expert. By Martin Beckford  02.01.2009   The advent of blogs and chatrooms has meant for the first time in centuries printed words are being widely distributed without first having been edited or proofread first, according to Professor David Crystal of the University of Wales, Bangor.   As a result, writers can choose to spell words differently without being corrected and their new versions enter common parlance.   Related Articles 'I before e', except in the classroom Voices Online: internet use is elitist in much of the world One millionth English word could be 'defriend' or 'noob' He predicted that within a few decades, the simplified or invented spellings favoured by many internet users could replace the current, more complex versions that were standardised in the 18th century with the advent of dictionaries.   It could mean that current internet slang - such as deliberately writing “teh” instead of “the”, “2moro” instead of “tomorrow” or “thx” for “thank you” – becomes introduced to mainstream publications because its use is so widespread online.   Prof Crystal, a pioneer of language theory who is now Honorary Professor of Linguistics at the University of Wales, Bangor, said that many traditional spellings beared no relation to meaning or pronunciation.   “The vast majority of spelling rules in English are irrelevant in the sense that they don’t stop you understanding the word in question," he said.   "If I spell the word rhubarb without an ‘h’ you have no trouble understanding it whatsoever. Why do we spell it with an ‘h’? Because some guy in the 16th century said it was good to put an ‘h’ in because it would remind you of the history of the word."   He said that before the internet, nobody would ever be able to write something in print without an editor or a proofreader checking it and saying "you’ve spelled something wrong" and correcting it.   But now simplified and phonetically spelled words were likely to enter the national vocabulary.   “There’s been a huge movement over hundreds of years to simplify English spelling, because it is complex for historical reasons," he said.   "What you consider to be atrocious now in 50 years’ time may be considered to be standard,” he said. “There are people around who would treat what I said to be the voice of the devil, but one has to remember that spelling only standardised in the 18th century. In Shakespeare’s time you could spell more or less as you like.”   However Professor Crystal - who spoke at the 20th anniversary conference of the International English Language Testing System, which is used by 6,000 organisations worldwide to gauge ability – does not believe the internet would lead to a complete breakdown in spelling rules, just the development of different rules.   “All that will happen is that one set of conventions will replace another set of conventions.” Despite the rapid speed at which English vocabulary is changing as a result of the internet and new technology, Prof Crystal does not believe that schools should abandon the teaching of traditional English spelling.   “Kids have got to grow up realising that in this day and age, standard English spelling is an absolute criterion of an educated background and you’re not going to get certain types of job if you don’t spell well.   “The point is that they haven’t been taught well. The reason is that the teachers don’t know how to teach spelling because they haven’t done the appropriate kind of linguistics which you need in order to understand the basis of the spelling system.   “The blame is being put on the kids, they’re being lazy or careless, but most of the kids I know who have got poor spelling regret the fact.”   Five of the strangest internet spellings 1. Teh. What started out as a common mis-spelling of “the” is now written deliberately by some internet users and used sarcastically in phrases such as “teh interweb” to imply ignorance. 2. Pwned. Said to have first appeared on the popular role-playing game World of Warcraft when a player mis-typed “owned”, the word has come to mean being dominated by someone or something. Difficult to pronounce. 3. Oh hai. This new way of writing the greeting “hi” originated through the internet craze known as “Lolcats”, in which photos of animals are given humorous captions supposedly written by their subjects. The blog where most of the images appear is called “I can has cheezburger”. 4. K. This variant spelling of OK, popular online, requires even less effort and signifies agreement but also a lack of enthusiasm. 5. Aibu. Short for “am I being unreasonable”, and is often used at the start of debates on Mumsnet. Given the eagerness of politicians to associate themselves with the discussion forum for young mothers, will a future Government make their array of acronyms and abbreviations official? 6. Cd - A shortened version of "could" that frequently crops up in text messages, instant messenger conversations and even emails. 7. OH - This alternative to "overheard" is generally used to introduce amusing or embarrassing statements made by strangers in queues or other public places. Particularly popular on Twitter. 8. Pls - An abbreviation of "please" that revels in its terseness. Most commonly used as an ironic courtesy. 9. Book - Used instead of cool. Has its origins in the predictive text feature on mobile phones (both words are generated using the same four buttons), but has also crept into online discussions and street slang. 10. Srsly. A shortened version of "seriously", often deployed with a question mark to express surprise at a far-fetched idea or onerous request.

Vocabulary Problems & The Little Black Book.  

I cannot recall how many times I have been asked the most effetive way to build up a working vocabulary quickly.  Experts disagree how many words you need for everyday use.  I take a moderate view that for general communication, somewhere around 2,000 - 2,500 is sufficient, plus a number which are related to your educational situation or future career.  These are 'professional words' which allow you to function effectively.

I have seen students trying to memorise words straight from a dictionary, which in my view is nonsence.  Most of what you learn will be of no practical use.

The system I recommend is to buy a small address book, and make a note on a daily basis of new words you come across in your daily life.  These are words you need to know.

Keep it with you for regular reference, and when you have learnt the word of phrase, cross it out.  You will be amazed at just how quickly you can build an increased vocabulary of hundreds of words.  AC.

'Twitter' declared top word of 2009.  guardian.co.uk,  30.11.2009.

Global Language Monitor's vast survey of print and social media places Twitter ahead of Obama and H1N1 as most used word

Twitter co-founder and CEO Evan Williams speaking at Twitter headquarters in San Francisco in March. Photograph: David Paul Morris/Getty

According to the Global Language Monitor (GLM), the social media website has been the most popular word in the print and digital media around the world this year, followed by Obama in second place and H1N1 – the name of the virus behind the epidemic of swine flu which has swept through Europe and the US – in third.

Taste v Flavour ~  Have you ever wondered what the difference is between 'taste' and 'flavour'?  I hadn't given it much consideration either until I watched a well-known chef called Heston Blumenthal on television recently.  Try this...

WEATHER & Climate'

  Who do you think you are kidding?  Our favourite expressions are from British Army slang

   Smelling the bouquet or a deadly weapon

   Happiest day of your life or a traumatic affair

   Baffling behaviour is founded from a knight hung upside down

'Chip shop owner battered man' and 'For sale: 83 Ford Grandad' -  a hilarious new book reveals the worst misprint howlers. By Martin Toseland   Ironically, with increased use of computer 'spell-checkers', unintentionally funny misprints on restaurant menus, in books, newspapers and adverts are actually becoming more common.   MARTIN TOSELAND has collected some of the most amusing for a new book. . .     Arthur Kitchener was seriously burned Saturday afternoon when he came in contact with a high-voltage wife. (Surrey Advertiser)  'Ha..ha!... should read.'..high-voltage wire'.   Just for fun, see if you can spot the mistakes and find the correct  meaning.  News in brief The Irish Stammerers' Association will hold a seminar will hold a seminar entitled 'Aids for Stammerers' tonight. (The Irish Press) People in Preston ward are invited to a meeting at 7.15pm tonight in St Mary's Church Hall, Brighton, to meet councillors and beat police officers. (Evening Argus) The skeleton was believed to be that of a Saxon worrier. (Express and Echo) Chance to win Concert promoters MCP have donated three pairs of tickets for the Princes Hall show. All you have to do is answer the following question: With which band did Midge (Ure) have his first number one hit in 1976?  Answers to: Ultravox Competition, The News, 4, High Street, Camberley, Surrey. The strike leaders had called a meeting that was to have been held in a bra near the factory, but it was too small to hold them all. (South London Press) One man was admitted to hospital suffering from buns. (Bristol Gazette) Douglas Bader pub A new public house at Martlesham, near Ipswich, has been named after Sir Douglas Bader, the RAF's legless wartime hero. (Daily Telegraph) Londonderry Development Commission plans to spend about £24,000 on improving the standard of street fighting in the city centre and a number of housing estates. (Belfast Telegraph) Cash plea to aid dyslexic cildren. (South Wales Evening Post) Police in Hawick yesterday called off a search for a 20-year-old man who is believed to have frowned after falling into the swollen River Teviot. (The Scotsman)  Winners in the homemade claret section were Mrs Davis (fruity, well-rounded), Mrs Rayner (fine colour and full-bodied), and Miss Ogle-Smith (slightly acid, but should improve if laid down). (Leicestershire parish magazine) In our report of the Welsh National Opera's Cavalleria Rusticana and Pagliacci, the computer spellchecker did not recognise the term WNO (Welsh National Opera). A slip of the finger caused it to be replaced with the word 'winos'. (The Guardian) An item which was deservedly appreciated and encored was Chopin's Pollonaise 'Sea Minor'. (Wexford Free Press) Life and death The first aid treatment for a broken rib is to apply a tight bandage after you have made your patient expire. (Manchester Evening News) Hooper  -  Wilfred Harry. Loving memories of my dearest husband who passed away 15 June. It's a lovely life without you, and sad has been each day. (Northants Evening Telegraph) Mr S. Butters for reasons of ill-health, is permanently discontinuing widow-cleaning. (Cambridgeshire Times) Corrections Due to an error in transmission we stated in an inquest report on Saturday that Mrs Susannah Vincent, of Porth, was found dead with a bottle in her left hand and a plastic bag over her head. This should have read 'a Bible in her left hand'. We apologise for any distress caused to the family. (Swindon Evening Advertiser)   Error: The Observer wishes to apologise for a typesetting error in our Tots and Toddlers advertising feature last week which led to Binswood Nursery School being described as serving 'children casserole' instead of chicken casserole. (Leamington Spa Observer) Due to a printing error, a story in last week's Gazette referred to athletics coach Billy Hodgins as an 'old waster'. This should, of course, have read 'old master'. We apologise to Mr Hodgins for any embarrassment caused.   The authorities at Ongar library have received a number of complaints about a card in the index file which read: SEX: SEE LIBRARIAN. This has been changed. The new entry reads: SEX: FOR SEX, ASK AT THE DESK. (Eastern Gazette) In a recent report of a competition held at one of Pontin's holiday camps it was inadvertently stated that it was for 'elephant' grandmothers instead of elegant grandmothers. We apologise to Mrs Helen P-, who gained third place, for any embarrassment this may have caused. (Stockport Advertiser) Adverts Children shot for Christmas in the home  -  Regent Photographic Studios. (Morecambe Visitor)  For sale: 83 Ford Grandad. (Express and Star, Wolverhampton) Lady, 65, reasonable looks, medium build, 65, likes short walks, outings, the occasional drunk. (Westmorland Gazette) Airedales  -  house-trained, safe with children, best protection against burglars or ladies living alone. (Dog World)  Rotherham Metropolitan Borough Council: Crematorium assistant required. The Council operates a no-smoking policy. (Sheffield Star) Weddings The bride was very upset when one of her little attendants accidentally stepped on her brain and tore it. (Kent Messenger) On Monday, Councillor Thompson's son will be married to the eldest daughter of Councillor James. The members of the Corporation are invited to the suspicious event. (Suffolk newspaper) Sports The mystery fan behind the takeover bid for Port Vale today said he will pull out of the deal if his identity is revealed. It is understood Stone-based businessman Peter Jackson wants to remain anonymous until the contract is signed and sealed. (Staffordshire Sentinel) Names Letchworth Spiritualist Church. An evening of Clairvoyance with Mr Deadman Saturday, July 27, at 7pm.  Going forward, how should we approach the English language? Many words which have crept into common parlance deserve to be banned, writes Anna Bawden   ‘Sometimes one is forced to consider the possibility that affairs are being conducted in a manner which, all things being considered and making all possible allowances is, not to put too fine a point on it, perhaps not entirely straightforward.’ Photograph: PA George Orwell called it a mixture of vagueness and sheer incompetence, and it has been the subject of much ridicule and opprobrium, but now politicians and civil servants have been rapped over the knuckles by the influential Commons' public administration committee for their poor use of English language. Although the committee didn't go as far as Orwell, who claimed that political language was "designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind", it was so appalled by the overuse of jargon and meaningless euphemism, that the MPs decided to hold an inquiry on the subject. The result, a report entitled, "Bad language: the use and abuse of official language" cites numerous examples of cringe-making terminology that would not have looked out of place in an episode of political sitcom Yes minister. "The unlovely language of this unreal world floats along on a linguistic sea of rollouts, step changes, public domains, fit for purposes, stakeholder engagements, across the pieces, win-wins, level playing fields and going forwards," the report says. Of course, for Sir Humphrey Appleby, the whole point of official language was obfuscation: "Civil Service language: 'Sometimes one is forced to consider the possibility that affairs are being conducted in a manner which, all things being considered and making all possible allowances is, not to put too fine a point on it, perhaps not entirely straightforward.' Translation: 'You are lying'," he said in one episode. But which terms are the worst culprits of meaningless officialese? The LGA's list of 200 banned words covers many of the worst examples of poor use of English. So instead of saying "working together", councils and public bodies refer to "collaborative working", "benchmarking" is used instead of "measuring", "outcomes" instead of "results" and "funding streams" rather than "money". And as the LGA says, horrendous terms like "Mainstreaming", "contestability" and "pathfinder" have no real meaning at all and should be scrapped altogether. If you could abolish 20 words, which ones would you ban? To get you started, here's some that would definitely make my list: Blue sky thinking Capacity building Framework agreements Going forward Place shaping Stakeholders Strategic partners/priorities Transformational Value-added Worklessness Stevenage Express)   From A Steroid Hit The Earth: The Catastrophic World Of Misprints by Martin Toseland, published by Portico Books on October 10 at £7.99. ©  Martin Toseland 2008   Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness,  from Lake Superior State University - USA Green - The ubiquitous “green” and all of its variables, such as “going green”, “building green”, “greening”, “green technology”, “green solutions” and more, drew the most attention from those who sent in nominations this year. Carbon footprint/carbon offsetting - “It is now considered fashionable for everyone, tree hugger or lumberjack alike, to pay money to questionable companies to 'offset’ their own 'carbon footprint’. What a scam! Get rid of it immediately!” Ginger Hunt, London, England. Maverick - “The constant repetition of this word for months before the US election diluted whatever meaning it previously had. Even the comic offshoot 'mavericky’ was terribly overused. A minimum five-year banishment of both words is suggested so they will not be available during the next federal election.” Matthew Mattila, Green Bay, Wisconsin. First Dude - “Skateboard English is not an appropriate way to refer to the spouse of a high-ranking public official.” Paul Ruschmann, Canton, Michigan. Bailout - “Use of emergency funds to remove toxic assets from banks’ balance sheets is not a bailout. When your cousin calls you from jail in the middle of the night, he wants a bailout.” Ben Green, State College, Pennsylvania. Wall Street/Main Street - “It’s simply over-used. No 'serious’ discussion of the crisis can take place without some political figure lamenting the fact that the trouble on Wall Street is affecting 'folks’ on Main Street.” Charles Harrison, Aiken, South Carolina. Monkey - “Especially on the Internet, many people seem to think they can make any boring name sound more attractive just by adding the word 'monkey’ to it. Do a search to find the latest. It is no longer funny.” Rogier Landman, Somerville, Massachusetts. <3 – This is supposed to resemble a heart, or stand for the word “love”. Used when sending those important text messages to loved ones. “Just say the word instead of making me turn my head sideways and wondering what 'less than three’ means.” Andrea Estrada, Chicago. Icon/iconic - “Everyone and everything cannot be 'iconic’. Can’t we switch to 'legendary’ or 'famous for’? In our entertainment-driven culture, it seems everyone in show business is 'iconic’ for some reason or another. “John Flood, Bray, Wicklow, Ireland. Game changer - “It’s game OVER for this cliché, which gets overused in the news media, political arenas and in business.” Cynthia, Mt. Pleasant, Michigan. Staycation - “Occurrences of this word are going up with gas prices. 'Vacation’ does not mean 'travel’, nor does travel always involve vacation. Let’s send this word on a slow boat to nowhere.” Dan Muldoon, Omaha, Nebraska. Desperate search - “Every time the news can’t find something intelligent to report, they start on a 'desperate search’ for someone, somewhere.” Rick A. Hyatt, Saratoga, Wyoming. Not so much - “Do I like concise writing? Yes. Do I like verbose clichés? Not so much.” David W. Downing, St. Paul, Minnesota. Winner of five nominations - “It hasn’t won an Academy Award yet. It has only been NOMINATED!” John Bohenek, Abilene, Texas. It’s that time of year again - “When is it not 'that time of year again’? From Valentine’s sales to year-end charity letters, invitations to summer picnics and Christmas parties, it’s 'that time’ of year again. Just get to the point of the solicitation, invitation, and newsletter and cut out six useless and annoying words.” Kathleen Brosemer of Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario.

Britain declares war on words that snuck into our skedule...By Matthew Engel   on 06.06.2010

Mark Easton is the BBC home affairs editor.  He spent some of his childhood in Winchester, apparently, not Wisconsin. And his job seems unlikely to offer extensive travel opportunities to the United States.

 

Yet the other night he referred to ‘specialty shops’ (note the missing i) on the Ten O’Clock News.  The rest of his report must have been drowned out by the screaming and spluttering of thousands of newspaper readers, who share my horror at the way British English is being overwhelmed by a tidal wave of mindless Americanisms.

 

My article in last week’s Review (Say No To The Get-Go) brought forth a huge response, almost all of it supportive.  Most gratifyingly, very few of the emails began: ‘Hi Matthew.’

  Taking liberties: Have Brits lost their grasp on the difference between our form of English and America's?

I believe language thrives on give and take, but with the United States it is all take. Americans rarely hear any of our words, let alone adopt them.  But we are so overwhelmed by everything American that the British have lost their grasp on the difference between our form of English and theirs.  This is the reality of cultural imperialism.

 

Easton was not even speaking good American. ‘Specialty stores’ would be far more normal in the United States.  ‘Speciality’ (with the i) is a lovely word, full of rolling syllables.  His version is the kind of usage that comes out of the mid-Atlantic and needs to be dropped back there, from a great height.

 

And there is a great deal of other useless baggage that needs to be dumped along with it. You offered hundreds more examples.  Top of the long hate-list was probably ‘Can I get a coffee?’ (and these days it probably would be an overpriced, overmarketed American coffee rather than a nice cup of tea).

  ‘Can I get a coffee?’ was top of the hate list 

 

The answer, says Louisa C., is no ‘. . . unless you are planning to clamber over the counter and start fiddling with the steam spouts’.

 

It was closely followed by ‘I’m good’ as opposed to ‘I’m very well, thank you’. This phrase is even more infuriating when used as an alternative to ‘No, thanks’, in declining a second helping.  ‘I just want to yell, “NO, you are NOT good – you might be really, really BAD,” ’ wailed Patsy Holden.

 

Other leading hates include ‘snuck’ as the past tense of ‘sneak’ and ‘dove’ as the past tense of ‘dive’; driver’s license instead of driving licence; overly rather than over; autopsy for post-mortem; burglarized instead of burgled; filling out forms instead of filling them in; fries for chips; chips for crisps; and food to go as opposed to take away.

There is also period instead of full stop; and of course ‘Hi, guys’, guys in this case being of either sex. These last two usages are associated with Tony Blair, which seems to redouble the irritation factor.

 

Not everyone suffers in silence. Martin Levin of London E4, says he keeps emailing Radio 2 to remind them there is no k in ‘schedule’, as does Keith Rodgerson, whose verbal enemies list is so long he can’t have time for much else other than letters of complaint.

 

Let battle commence: A war of words has been declared between the British form of the English language and Americanisms

 

It includes airplane for aeroplane, pharmacist for chemist, advisory for warning, and calling McDonalds a restaurant, which is a related but subtly different complaint.

 

The land is also full of ‘gotten’ haters – understandable because it is an extremely ugly word. This is a complex area, though, in that it was formerly used in Scotland and can be found in the works of Sir Walter Scott.  However, it was described as ‘archaic and affected’ in 1926, so has no business making a comeback.

 

And there is widespread loathing of the verbalisation of nouns: incentivizing and all that rot. David Barton of Kent says he used to work for an American company that decided to ‘sunset’ a department.

 

In sport, Bob Carr winces when his team suffer an American ‘loss’ far more than when they go down to an English defeat.

 

Wayne Bryant says that, if he were still playing competitive sport and was told ‘you’re ON the team ON the weekend’, he would refuse to turn up.  Gordon Spalding adds ‘Can we touch base?’ to the collection of ludicrous baseball metaphors.

 

There is a simple answer to this. There should be a blanket ban on references to baseball in British conversation unless the perpetrator can explain the infield fly rule,  which makes the lbw law look a doddle.

 

There is a more general solution: a growing understanding that Britain has a language of its own.  It may or may not be better than American, but it’s different and it’s ours, part of what makes us distinctive. People do care. It’s time for those with some responsibility for the language to start caring, too.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1284254/Britain-declares-war-words-snuck-skedule-.html#ixzz0q6GZT3VN

Say no to the get-go! Americanisms swamping English, so wake up and smell the coffee

  By Matthew Engel   on 29.05.2010

It happened last month, shortly after the first cuckoo. I heard it, I swear I heard it. The first get-go of spring. It was on the BBC Breakfast programme on May 11: a presenter was wittering, and distinctly said that something-or-other had been clear 'from the get-go'.

  The British have been borrowing words from America for at least two centuries

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